we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Randomize
