what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
