Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
