Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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