jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
