Im at strip club and am horny
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
