you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i would one night stand the shit outta him
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
