morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
