I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
