do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
