I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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