Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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