I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
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He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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