I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
