you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
