Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
this boner is exhausting
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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