I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
