fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
