I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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