Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
