Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize