I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
