sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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