quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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