Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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