I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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