Porn is love you can see.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize