Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
