I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
