I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
