she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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