Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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