hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
