Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
