we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
