weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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