you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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