you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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