I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
