i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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