You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
