maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
