seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
