8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
