$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
