so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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