I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
