I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He kissed a someone with a penis
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
