Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
