If i come over, it means nothing
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
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I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
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He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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