gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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