her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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