He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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