Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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