I skipped work to stalk him.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize