I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
