I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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