This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The best revenge is premature balding
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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