We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
