Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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