I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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