eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
